Like a river

Put your mind at ease.  Life will not leave you behind.  In fact, unless you are anchored somewhere life might just take you on a joy ride down the river without a life jacket or a paddle.  Maybe a joy ride every now and then is not a bad idea, but as a way of life it is probably ill advised.

If I stop and listen to myself think I have to wonder why the internal dictator has such a lofty and often critical attitude?  Am I hearing this drone of antagonism and shame all the time?  Where is that happy kid that wants to play with me when all I hear are the mean girls taunting as they followed me home from school.  I wonder if they survived the war on drugs.  I left town.

Bubbling past me are thoughts, plans, worries and memories.  When I stand still I can watch them slip past.  I don’t try to justify them anymore.  I don’t encourage them either.  They are history, or they are fantasy and they appear without my invitation most of the time.

After generations of humanity before me, here I am complete with pre-programmed survival instincts I no longer need.  I do not know the first thing about hunting for my next meal, foraging for wild edibles or weaving my own cloth.  Alright, so I can crochet and knit and spin fiber but that’s about it.So, my early morning anxieties and late night ruminations don’t really have much purpose.  When I acquired the need to review worse case scenarios I was my ancestor, running from some wild animal.  I just need to figure out what to wear to work in the morning and remember where I put my keys.

Note to self:  breathe, sit beside the stream, stand in it, above it, let it go.



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